vipassana

The moment I decided for 10 day vipassana course, first thought came to my mind was "10 days silence". Is it even possible for a person like me? But I decided to go and looked at the schedule of course and find out that "morning to evening only meditation". But still I had this feeling I had to go through this.

Day 1: 

Day begins with instructions for silence. Not just normal silence "noble silence". Noble silence means no verbal or non-verbal communication. You cannot talk or communicate with each other with gestures. Not just that when you walk your eyes should be down avoiding any sort of eye contact with others. Budha says when one look into someone's eyes there is a certain communication, exchange of energies happen between those two persons.

Day 2: 

Morning bell in morning at 4 AM woke me up. On second day, I was able to do meditation with little more ease. I shared my concerns with teacher. He was quite experienced with the technique.

Day 3: 

On this day, we continued with meditation felt like we are going against mind. Mind has certain cycles. Like in the morning 10 AM, we think about work or job. There are feeling towards our family, friends because we have not spoken to anybody. All these things keep on running in our mind but now we realize these things very clearly. An old habit of doing normal things, to keep on thinking about something is broken.

Day 4: 

Then they introduced the real vipassana meditation with 3 day preparation. For me first of all, it was hard. I felt as if lot suppressed energy within me has been released. I realized every part of my body had some suppressed energy which was released. It was such intense experience that I felt each part of my body so intensely.

Day 5: 

With vipassana continued, more and more energy is released from the body. A feeling of lightness comes in the mind. One realization which happens to mind is with food changed and regular (at fixed time), now it is easier to sit for hours in meditation. It shows a deep connection between our food, how we eat and how mind functions.

Day 6: 

On the end of each day, there is a discourse by video lectures by S N Gonenka. He is a very funny person. Over these days, listening to him through videos I felt as if certain relationship is developed with him. The best part is he would reveal the exact state through which mind is going on while doing this technique.

Day 7: 

Now it feels exhausted, it starts to feel that we are living in a different world. We are turning into some different creatures and those people outside are so free that they can go anywhere they want. Another mystery about mind is revealed. Mind needs freedom it cannot be bound at one place. It has its own mechanism.

Day 8: 

Mind starts revealing its inner hidden desires. Anger about many people starts coming on the surface. Many people, friends, relationships in the past and many emotions like anger, lust held back started to come on the surface somehow. It feels both uneasy but good both at the same time. Life comes with many choices and anger is only a choice which we can let go. And that is what we call forgiveness. I realized forgiveness is not an ability to forgive others but an ability to let go your anger and free yourself from that burden.

Day 9: 

It was declared that at the end of the day silence will be broken. Finally I was waiting for this whole silence vow to get over. Although it was silence, but I felt I was talking not to people but to life first time and not precisely talking I felt I was listening. Whole life has something to say like trees, monkeys. Friends walking on the street laughing, kids playing on the road, everything around we see has something to say, some message to convey. Only thing is that we have to learn how to listen.

Day 10: 

Silence was finally broken. Everybody was speaking, like everything is bursting out from inside. Everybody was back on their phone sharing their experience, laughing, speaking and feeling life again. In these 9 days, I felt even when I was silent but somehow I was communicating with many people. Because on the 10th day, I spoke to many people with whom I had silently spoken.